Attachment Disorder
I was chatting over coffee with a friend about her new 'relationship.' What is it about people 'in love' that makes them want to fix you up? And why can't they get that some of us are totally happy out-of-relationship. Point of fact I am anxious and resentful in a relationship. I have faced the fact that I have an attachment disorder.
I have spent time in therapy and a lot of self-education on this. I probably am dismissive-avoidant mostly but having a few boyfriends turned stalkers in my past has put me leaning toward the fearful-avoidant model. To the point that sometimes when I meet a new man I begin back-peddling right after names are exchanged.
There was this comedian who joked about his new sobriety a lot. He said he loved Alanon, which is for people addicted to people addicted to alcohol. 'I love sick women,' he joked, 'and Alanon puts them all in one room for me.' Put me in a room with 50 men and I will fall in love with the sickest in seconds. Once burned (well, I won't give you numbers) twice way as they say.
Basically I am very happy out of relationship and very miserable in one. Mind you I have friends. I am a very loyal friend and have friendships going back decades. But they are all women, gay men or others with attachment disorders like mine. I am inclined to look at attachment styles as a sliding scale. I am toward one end (though not the extreme form which tends toward sociopaths) and at the other are people in relationship that seem unable to ever be out of them without becoming trembling masses of emotional jelly. That too is a disorder in my humble opinion. And I subscribe to the 'woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle' theory of social connection.
'You just need to give it a try,' my friend said. 'There is the right man for you out there.' Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and have the bullet holes in it to prove it.' And the police files on the stalkers, the loaded guns around the house, and the fear of a knock at the door or the phone ringing. Who needs that?!!!
Attachment Disorder - Third Verse
Attachment Disorder - Second Verse
Attachment Disorder Site - providing hope and support.
Oct 11, 2009 Offers information, support, and hope for those who care for children with attachment disorder.
Symptoms, Causes, Research - Attachment Disorder Site - providing
Oct 3, 2008 Randolph Attachment Disorder Questionnaire Information Any information on the Attachment Disorder Site does not replace professional
Attachment disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Attachment disorder is a broad term intended to describe disorders of mood, behavior, and social relationships arising from a failure to form normal
Attachment Disorders: Insecure Attachment and Reactive Attachment
Explanation of attachment disorders, with symptoms, causes, and advice for repair. Includes detailed discussion of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).
Reactive attachment disorder - MayoClinic.com
Reactive attachment disorder — Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, treatments and coping skills for parents and caregivers.
Focus Adolescent Services: Attachment & Attachment Disorders
Attachment is all about building relationships. The unique and exclusive relationship between a mother and child colors the person's relationships for rest
RadKid.Org: Reactive Attachment Disorder & Detachment Issues
Aug 8, 2009 Provides information, ideas, tips, and support for parents of children with reactive attachment disorder and other detachment issues.
Child Abuse & Neglect, Reactive Attachment Disorder: eMedicine
by RH LubitOct 14, 2009 Overview: Attachment disorders are the psychological result of negative experiences with caregivers, usually since infancy, that disrupt the
Reactive Attachment Disorder | American Academy of Child
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a complex psychiatric illness that can affect young children. It is characterized by serious problems in emotional
The Attachment Disorder Support Group (ADSG)
Mar 3, 2009 You will find some of the best resources families who have children suffering from Trauma and Reactive Attachment Disorder!