until nothing was left but empty folders
I have been ignoring the towering piles of textbooks,copies,test papers,notes and sheets that have graced my bedroom floor with their presence for the last...10 days?
This morning I had had enough.
As I flicked through the folders,plastic,cardboard and otherwise,looking for anything that may be important enough to keep I felt extremely....vexed.
For the last...year...I have depended on these books and notes and sheets for the knowledge that they held. I have felt pressured by these notes and books and sheets,I have been pre-occupied and unable to properly concentrate on anything but the pressure from exams and the brú.
Brú is the Irish word for pressure which is pronounced 'brew' it really is a much better word I think because I always picture a person pushing someone towards something they don't want to do...like wash the dishes or clean the fire...and the person doing the pushing saying 'brú brú brú'
It just sounds like a pressuring sound. Perfect then for a pressuring word.
Today I tackled that pile of books and sheets and notes *I'm restraining myself from using a rude word to describe the books and sheets and notes so just bear with me thanks* :)
I rifled through them all and there was no need to keep any of them.
A mere month ago I would have a melt-down if I couldn't find my science notes or my German copy. Today I willingly threw them in the bin. How things change with the passing of time.
It angered me to think that the effort I put in to my Junior Cert was in the heel of the reel,pointless. Futile. I will get decent grades come September but was all the pressure worth it? For the annoyance,the pain,the tears (there were alot of tears)
I don't think so. If I can throw away the books,the notes,the copies and the sheets,never to look at them ever again. I don't think so.
All that is left now is the empty folders,void of the knowledge that they once held but hopefully that knowledge is in my head now. Not all of it *I'm not that naive* but some of it anyway
Maybe that was the point.That I would have this knowledge. Maybe one day this knowledge will matter,maybe the experience of the Junior Cert will matter,maybe it won't. I've done it now. :)
On the other hand,atleast my room is tidier than it was this morning :)
Had any experiences like this yourself?
From inside the bin,
Smileyfreak :)x!
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